KOFFEE KHAT 1.09.11

Missi is on Ocean Park in Santa Monica after readings from "The Jerusalem Post" and " The Asia Times" sits down in a comfortable space and asked if the have "Toraja" and with a decline settles for the house coffee. She opens her laptop and finds that Wyoming Dept. of Revenue is resending sales tax on guns because of increased animosity towards tax field agents.

KOFFEE KHAT 1.09.11

Pelosi will leave as Speaker with a legacy of the perma grin and hand off the gavel to " Give me and excuse to Cry" Boehner.

Ted Williams got his wish to reincarnate but wasn't expecting to come back as a homeless black man whose throat goes deep.

HealthCare will dominate the rhetoric for the next two years without a conclusion causing Arlen Spector to come out of retirement.

"To Kill a Mockingbird and "Mein Kamp" will become required reading in Mexico's school system.

If you are a Taurus your Moon is at Pisces and Jupiter is in the 4th House causing you to Buzzflash into a Firedog and follow a General called Jesus and read Zen Comics.


Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 12.30.10

Missi is on Beverly in LA in a small cafe after readings from 'Nation' and 'Forbes'. She asks for a 'Longberry' and ends up with a Latte. She is searching the web when she comes upon news that Haiti may break out into Civil War.

KOFFEE KHAT 12.30.10

Advocates of the repeal of DADT now believe that dolphins are gay sharks.

The male gay community is having concerns about raising their intelligence to become Marines, having come to the conclusion that in this area penetration is lethal.

Mitch McConnel will find a way to a water park and look for the big slide and then look for Harry Reid to catch him at the end of the slide.

Sarah Palin is looking for a way to get Hillary in her back yard to ask her to 'redondicate'.

If you are a Leo your Moon is in Libra and Mercury is in Scorpio. You have the personality of a glasshouse mistress have a baby hippo for a pet and will hop a wagon to watch a muted Harry Potter movie.


Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 12.13.10

After readings from Pravada and Islam Republic Wire is seated in a coffee house on Rochester in LA comfortably searching the web, asks if they have "Toraja" and with a response of 'no', has some ice coffee.

KOFFEE KHAT 12.13.10

Cher had a nipple tuck and will vowel her life to Julian Assange and when he is free and will campaign for the decriminalization of all drugs.

Dick Cheney will go to jail in Nigeria and do hard labor with some of Obama's distant relatives and be transformed into a Voodoo Priest when released.

John Boehner theme song will be "Cry me a River" or Oprah's favorite 2Pac's " Hit Em UP".

If you are an Aries your Moon is in Pisces and your Sun in Libra. You will become a methadone pretty terminally unique fanatical apologist.


Gorgeous is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 11.28.10

Missi is on Lake in Pasadena after reading Dick Cheney's Blog and Cracked. She sat down and became comfortable with her laptop and searched out that Vietnam is prosecuting Bloggers. She asked the waitress for a "Yauco Selecto" and settled with their Latte.

KOFFEE KHAT 11.28.10

Anderson Cooper's New Year Resolution is to interview John Stossell in his bathroom.

TSA will start an airline called 'Massage Air'.

David Axelrod is still having trouble finding his runaway giraffe.

Wikileaks has discovered that Santa Claus has secretly finance all of Hollywood's right wing comedies.

If you are a Gemini, you arc of degrees is 177 with your House in Moon with Fixed Water Declining into Mutable Air causing Venus to Square with Pluto resulting in a Solar Return causing your evil robot to become a subservient chicken.


Gorgeous Gorge is piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 11.16.10

After readings from Forbes and Radar, Missi is now in Santa Fe Springs on Shoemaker in a little coffee house asking if they have "Las Delicias" and settling for the house Latte. She starts her search when she finds that rice mills in India are conducting child and slave labor.

KOFFEE KHAT 11.16.10

Dominos will starts a campaign call the Mass American Enlightenment Pizza.

Jon Stewart and Cindy McCain will start a talk show on how to come out and then go back in without being recognized for coming out, they will also sell hats to facilitate the process.

Olberman will be suspended again for inventing a character called Hall Burton and satirically tearing him apart.

History will recognize "W" for being the funniest man in history.

If you are a Sagittarius, Saturn will be in your 2nd house with a Moon-Neptune aspect. You will date a cross dressing inflatable called Madonna and lunch until you thundergut.

Gorgeous George is a piece of perk

KOFFEE KHAT 10.30.10

After readings from the Christian Science Monitor and The Daily Beast, Missy found herself at a coffee cafe on Glendora in West Covina. She asks for a "Monte Cerrado" and ends up with an Ice Tea. She is searching the net when she discovers a link that has the guest and dress list of for the White House Halloween Party.

KOFFEE KHAT 10.30.10

Obama will be the Master as in the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" and will be wearing Calvin Klein's Lace Garter High Hosiery . The entire ensemble will be in purple and white. Michelle Obama will be dressed in knee length boots, a black bikini, Douglas MacArthur's Commander's Hat carrying a whip with a small patch of hair under her nose. You get the picture. Diane Sawyer will go as Walter Cronkite and will talk moustache with Michelle. Brian Williams will go as Brian Williams. Katie Couric will go as Christine O'Donnell. Christine O'Donnell will go as Katie Couric. They will both transform into Clare Boothe Luce by the end of the night. Wikileak's Julian Assange will go as Oprah. Oprah will go as someone trying to fit into Obama's pants consequently start a dance line doing the Hop. When the entire party joins the dance line Howard Hughes will descend dressed in a Loin Cloth wave at the party and fly way in his Spruce Goose.

KOFFEE KHAT 10.16.10

Missi after her readings from "Politico" and "People" is on Brookhurst in Anaheim. She asks for a "Malibar" and ends up with an ice tea. During her search she read that children now believe that Buzz Lightyear was the first man on the moon.

KOFFEE KHAT 10.16.10

Christine O'Donnel is will be exposed as Katie Couric lost little sister.

Lou Dobbs horse groomer and Meg Whitman maid will marry. Rick Sanchez will be minister and Jon Stewart will give away the bride . The bride and groom will both yodel "I Do".

Glacier National Park will be renamed.

It will be discovered that homophobes and Islamophobes are the same people. Islamophobia Person of the Year will go to Brigitte Bardot.

If you are a Scorpio your moon is at 23"20' with Venus in Capricorn squared to Jupiter in Aries.
You will campaign for breast feeding and Dodge Ball with your baby to become an Olympic sport.


Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.