KOFFEE KHAT 12.30.10

Missi is on Beverly in LA in a small cafe after readings from 'Nation' and 'Forbes'. She asks for a 'Longberry' and ends up with a Latte. She is searching the web when she comes upon news that Haiti may break out into Civil War.

KOFFEE KHAT 12.30.10

Advocates of the repeal of DADT now believe that dolphins are gay sharks.

The male gay community is having concerns about raising their intelligence to become Marines, having come to the conclusion that in this area penetration is lethal.

Mitch McConnel will find a way to a water park and look for the big slide and then look for Harry Reid to catch him at the end of the slide.

Sarah Palin is looking for a way to get Hillary in her back yard to ask her to 'redondicate'.

If you are a Leo your Moon is in Libra and Mercury is in Scorpio. You have the personality of a glasshouse mistress have a baby hippo for a pet and will hop a wagon to watch a muted Harry Potter movie.


Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 12.13.10

After readings from Pravada and Islam Republic Wire is seated in a coffee house on Rochester in LA comfortably searching the web, asks if they have "Toraja" and with a response of 'no', has some ice coffee.

KOFFEE KHAT 12.13.10

Cher had a nipple tuck and will vowel her life to Julian Assange and when he is free and will campaign for the decriminalization of all drugs.

Dick Cheney will go to jail in Nigeria and do hard labor with some of Obama's distant relatives and be transformed into a Voodoo Priest when released.

John Boehner theme song will be "Cry me a River" or Oprah's favorite 2Pac's " Hit Em UP".

If you are an Aries your Moon is in Pisces and your Sun in Libra. You will become a methadone pretty terminally unique fanatical apologist.


Gorgeous is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 11.28.10

Missi is on Lake in Pasadena after reading Dick Cheney's Blog and Cracked. She sat down and became comfortable with her laptop and searched out that Vietnam is prosecuting Bloggers. She asked the waitress for a "Yauco Selecto" and settled with their Latte.

KOFFEE KHAT 11.28.10

Anderson Cooper's New Year Resolution is to interview John Stossell in his bathroom.

TSA will start an airline called 'Massage Air'.

David Axelrod is still having trouble finding his runaway giraffe.

Wikileaks has discovered that Santa Claus has secretly finance all of Hollywood's right wing comedies.

If you are a Gemini, you arc of degrees is 177 with your House in Moon with Fixed Water Declining into Mutable Air causing Venus to Square with Pluto resulting in a Solar Return causing your evil robot to become a subservient chicken.


Gorgeous Gorge is piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 11.16.10

After readings from Forbes and Radar, Missi is now in Santa Fe Springs on Shoemaker in a little coffee house asking if they have "Las Delicias" and settling for the house Latte. She starts her search when she finds that rice mills in India are conducting child and slave labor.

KOFFEE KHAT 11.16.10

Dominos will starts a campaign call the Mass American Enlightenment Pizza.

Jon Stewart and Cindy McCain will start a talk show on how to come out and then go back in without being recognized for coming out, they will also sell hats to facilitate the process.

Olberman will be suspended again for inventing a character called Hall Burton and satirically tearing him apart.

History will recognize "W" for being the funniest man in history.

If you are a Sagittarius, Saturn will be in your 2nd house with a Moon-Neptune aspect. You will date a cross dressing inflatable called Madonna and lunch until you thundergut.

Gorgeous George is a piece of perk

KOFFEE KHAT 10.30.10

After readings from the Christian Science Monitor and The Daily Beast, Missy found herself at a coffee cafe on Glendora in West Covina. She asks for a "Monte Cerrado" and ends up with an Ice Tea. She is searching the net when she discovers a link that has the guest and dress list of for the White House Halloween Party.

KOFFEE KHAT 10.30.10

Obama will be the Master as in the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" and will be wearing Calvin Klein's Lace Garter High Hosiery . The entire ensemble will be in purple and white. Michelle Obama will be dressed in knee length boots, a black bikini, Douglas MacArthur's Commander's Hat carrying a whip with a small patch of hair under her nose. You get the picture. Diane Sawyer will go as Walter Cronkite and will talk moustache with Michelle. Brian Williams will go as Brian Williams. Katie Couric will go as Christine O'Donnell. Christine O'Donnell will go as Katie Couric. They will both transform into Clare Boothe Luce by the end of the night. Wikileak's Julian Assange will go as Oprah. Oprah will go as someone trying to fit into Obama's pants consequently start a dance line doing the Hop. When the entire party joins the dance line Howard Hughes will descend dressed in a Loin Cloth wave at the party and fly way in his Spruce Goose.

KOFFEE KHAT 10.16.10

Missi after her readings from "Politico" and "People" is on Brookhurst in Anaheim. She asks for a "Malibar" and ends up with an ice tea. During her search she read that children now believe that Buzz Lightyear was the first man on the moon.

KOFFEE KHAT 10.16.10

Christine O'Donnel is will be exposed as Katie Couric lost little sister.

Lou Dobbs horse groomer and Meg Whitman maid will marry. Rick Sanchez will be minister and Jon Stewart will give away the bride . The bride and groom will both yodel "I Do".

Glacier National Park will be renamed.

It will be discovered that homophobes and Islamophobes are the same people. Islamophobia Person of the Year will go to Brigitte Bardot.

If you are a Scorpio your moon is at 23"20' with Venus in Capricorn squared to Jupiter in Aries.
You will campaign for breast feeding and Dodge Ball with your baby to become an Olympic sport.


Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 9.15.10

Missi is in Los Angeles on Wilshire in a coffee bar after readings from Emirates Today and Billboard. She is settled with her laptop and orders a"Kopi Luwak" and eventually ends up with a Latte. In her searching finds that Oklahoma City is ranked 8th in sexual activity.

KOFFEE KHAT 9.15.10

Muslim Liberal Arts Colleges have been ranked # 1 as the best party schools.

Preacher Terry Jones who bought a few hundred Koran to burn will now have a fire sale. He will be quoted that it was a good investment at the time and wishes the Islam faith the best with his contribution. Peace to All.

Iman Abdul Rauf will announce his new calling and become a football coach for the NY Giants and design plays around the Hail Mary.

Obama's will state that his religious spirit is right of whatever that is right. All right...

The new right will establish all grounds in a 1 mile radius of 7/11's to be hallow.

If you are a Capricorn you Sun is square with Pluto and arcing 18 degrees of Taurus. You will take up fireplug surfing and study the gender of a snowflake.


Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 9.07.10

Missi is in Santa Monica on Broadway in a coffeehouse getting comfortable after her readings from the "Hollywood Reporter" and the"New Republic". Opens her laptop and orders a "Maubesse" and settles for the house special and then searches and finds that the homeless in San Fransisco are protesting that McDonald's is conspiring against them for eliminating the dollar value menu and that all the employees speak Spanish.

KOFFEE KHAT 9.07.10

Jan Brewster brain freeze came from looking in the monitor and seeing Sarah Palin.

Dr.Seuss meets Bart Simpson meets Snookie meets Karzai on an American Street and become Zen Comic Heroes and then go attack the Angry Buddhist

James Cameron will go into the South American rain forest and film some indigenous tribal life and become transformed and never come back.

News has become so seriously slow that a new agency headline was that to pick pimples is harmful for your face.

If you are a Scorpio your house is retrograde with your moon ascending and you feel like a non rhotic psychedelic panda with bad astronomy and have the urge to do mathematical calculations on the stretching abilities of balloon animals.

Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 8.23.10

From readings of WOWOWOW and Village Voice is now in downtown L.A. around 4th and Main. She asks for a 'Pacamara' and settles with a house brew with a shot of tequila thinking this would settle her frenzied feelings that she been carrying around for a couple of weeks. She opens her laptop and searches to discover that 'bananaophia' is the new in fear.

KOFFEE KHAT 8.23.10

Obama and Pelosi will explore the way of 'Fatwa' and conclude that Peace will come when people whose name that starts with 'Mc' be changed to 'Mosque'. An example would be McCarron will now be MosqueCarron'.

Christiane Amanapour has a one year contract with Disney to speed date while taking a ride on 'Small World'.

Who would dare compare the world of Islam to Nazism, who would dare compare Saddam Hussien to Adolf Hilter.

Muscular atrophy is occurring in the right index finger of people who belong to the Internet and Gaming Addicts Club.

Ahmadinejad will retire to become a yoga instructor in New Jersey and set up a Jewish dating service.

If you are a Libra your house is in opposition to Venus and your conjugation is semi-sextile. You will see 12 Zen Baboons dancing with Bambi,go searching for Lavender ice cream and become a sensual vegan and have a sexual relationship with your ear hole.


Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 8.02.10

Missi has read from 'Yachting' and 'Daily Variety' and now is on Fair Oaks in Pasadena. A small coffee shop with little atmosphere but she is finding it comfortable enough to pull out her laptop and ask for a 'Yauco Selecto' and settle for an Ice Coffee.

KOFFEE KHAT 8.02.10

Elton John will make Julian Assange his Queen for a day and dedicate his new song 'PFF' 'Poppy Fields Forever'.

Oliver Stone will profess to be half Jewish and the other half will be determined by what country he is visiting.

Angelina Jolie will adopt a 27 year old Pakistani who will start dating Jennifer Aniston.

ISI will become a household name until it becomes connected to 9/11, then it will become a coffee house name.

LAGALABATATA is seeking equality among LAGALABATATA as soon as it can make up its mind to body movement moment.

If you are a Capricorn Jupiter is opposing Saturn and you should look out for Jupiter sneaking up behind your Uranus and this will cause your rising sign to ascend leaving you on top of a bus cheer leading for homemade macaroni and cheese.


Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 7.26.10

Missi is in this little coffee shop in Inglewood on La Brea searching her laptop for any disinformation. She becomes settled before she orders a ' Tarrazu ' without any positive response she orders the house blend.

KOFFEE KHAT 7.26.10

The NAACP has accused the T-Party of racism with the foundation that they have the patent for racist organization.

Dick Cheney will write a book 'The Cheney Doctrine' that will explain with scientific evidence that species can adapt and evolve with Oil spills.

Sarah Palin will play an Islamic woman named 'Katherine' in an adaptation of Shakespeare's 'Taming of the Shrew'.

Charley Rangel will pose nude for Vanity Fair and it will be in 3-D.

If you are a Leo your Moon is in Capricorn and your house is in Retrograde and you will find compatibility with a sarcastic sex toy.


Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 7.17.10

Missi has charted herself from readings of National Geographics and PC World. So she is sitting in a coffee house in Los Angeles on Sunset. She is hot and uncomfortable and the idea of coffee is not really what she wants but still asks if they have a "Dark Malibar". She settles for an Ice Tea and starts searching the web.

KOFFEE KHAT 7.17.10

The Hamptons will be turned over to some Indian Tribe ...who is holding now.

Tarzan was really a black man as was Babe Ruth.

Obama will try out his new swim stroke on his next visit to the Gulf.

A wax representation of Dick Cheney will be on exhibit at the George W. Bush Library. He will be dressed in Harley-Davidson leathers standing in a water bucket with a spear in one hand and a net in the other.

If you are a Leo your Moon is void and Mercury has ingressed. Your will become intoxicated by balloon juice and want to be addressed as Skippy the Bush Kangaroo, then request membership to the Axis of Logic to become a Juke Box Hero.


Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 6.20.10

Missi is on Colorado in Pasadena trying to get comfortable with her laptop, when she has a vision of being immaculate. She asks if they have 'Boquete' and settles for a milk.

KOFFEE KHAT 6.20.10

Adm. Thad Allen who was once a Muppet on Sesame Street will be asked to run for President.

The Administration with full support of Congress will waterboard Tony Howard.

Joe Barton being a Brother of Oil [BOO] will come out and apologize for the behavior of Osama Bin Ladin.

BP finds that non-truths produce more energy than truth and a solution for the environmental conscious.

The Chevron sign will change to a symbol of Jonathon Livingston Seagull.

If you are a Sagittarius your Sun is in Gemini with an aggressive water chart. A dude with a tude will go to the Zoo to argue with smirking monkeys.


Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 6.05.10

Missi has charted herself to Pico Blvd. in Santa Monica by a reading from Wall Street Journal and Vanity Fair. It a nice comfortable coffee house she sits and open her lap top and starts searching when the waitress comes over and Missi asks for a 'Jamaican Blue Mountain' with regrets she reorders an ice latte.

KOFFEE KHAT 6.05.10

Bin Laden was issued an ticket from Acapulco to New Orleans 4.12.10 wearing a green and yellow jump suit.

Obama will spend 2 billion in research to see if giraffes can swim.

Funyuns are the big sellers at Hemp Festivals.

Senator Reid is taking voice lessons from Cyndi Lauper so he can sound like Trace Adkins.

Al Gore expressing his anger about the Gulf Oil Rig Explosion [Gore] to Tipper got a 'Soo...
It's just a little spilt oil.' for a reply and concluded that she is a Sister Of Oil [SOO].


Gorgeous George is a piece of Perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 5.20.10

Missi charted herself to a coffee house in Leimert Park near USC after reading Vogue and a 7.12.2001 edition of Time. She asked for a 'Kona Fancy' and ended up with the House Ice Coffee. As she was searching the Web she came upon some news that a man in China was sentenced to death for an Ant Farm scheme where he made Millions.

KOFFEE KHAT 5.20.10

Elena Kagan , after her approval to the Supreme Court, will start dating Barney Franks and eventually "Out" him as a closet Hetero.

Allen Specter will with a sense of Loss will search for new political ground and be saved by the
T-Party and become friends with Ralph Nader.

ACLU will continue to search for a Legal case for al-Qaeda

Conspiracy Theories will prevail of the Gulf Oil Rig Explosion, GORE. One being that is was a dispatched strike by Hugo Chavez to destroy and nationalize American Oil.

PETA will support Arizona's Immigration Laws with the knowledge that the illegals are here to support cultural Cock and Bull Fights.

If you are a Libra Mars at 18 Leo 26' went retrograde 18 Leo 42' causing your to psychoanalyse your Leo friends as being generally Wrong and find circus acts to be Profound.


Gorgeous George is a Piece of Perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 5.12.10

Missi is in a coffee shop in Santa Monica on Broadway. She is getting comfortable searching the Internet when she asks the waitress for a 'La Minta Dark' and with a negative reply request a latte. She notices on her search that with Mexican Law men can be imprisoned up to 5 years for jealously or sexual indifference.

KOFFEE KHAT 5.12.10

Atheist human rights lawyers are producing a case to have Pope Benedict arrested.

Michael Steele will change his rally chant of 'Drill, Baby, Drill' to 'Burn , Baby, Burn'.

Bill Clinton will become the new dictator of Haiti and Hillary will run for President of Pakistan.

All people named Miranda will have succeeded in leaving Arizona.

If you are a Pisces you will drop acid and watch pixulated TV for two years and then with your chunky junk trunk try to past as a undercover blonde in the Congo looking for the bush kangaroo.

Gorgeous George is piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 4.28.10

Missi is at a coffee house in Whittier on Greenleaf. She finds a corner and gets comfortable hoping for reason to have interest in what she was doing there. She asks for a ' Altura Coatpec' and the response was a facial expression of what are you saying and Missi reply is that she will have an ice coffee.

KOFFEE KHAT 4.28.10

Vulcanologist are stating that melting ice sheets are taking great weight off the surface and is likely to free magna from the deep underground and that we can expect objects from future eruptions to resemble Al Gore.

Goldman Sachs and Friends will synthesize the debt to society by becoming part of Folsom City Blue Band with their opening song being 'Queerbucks'.

What part of illegal should be considered legal the 'gal', the 'ill' or the 'leg'.

Larry King will eat 21 lbs. of Pizza and only belch once and share the other 4 lbs. with a friend of his wife.

Toyota will open a new line of Hybrids called 'Mea Culpa'.

If you are a Leo your Sun is in Taurus and Moon at Libra. Meditation with your parrot will eliminate the staccato speed vibration in your system and you will lose anxiety of what herbicide, pesticide and artificial fertilizers treated your coffee.

Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 4.16.10

Missi is finding herself on Riverside Dr. in a Toluca Lake coffee cafe. She is deeply confident that this session will have a sense to it, but she is never sure. She asks for a 'La Minta dark roast' and as usual her request is not fulfilled and she settles for a latte. She open her laptop and searches for evidence of a quiet life.

KOFFEE KHAT 4.16.10

The T-Party will start throwing T-Bags into Boston Harbor for no new taxes. Sarah will campaign that 'She is not the One'. This is to secure her T-Bags don't go over the side.

Rahm Emanuel will show his great singularity with his order to the Cycle as an attentive aphorist to cover the fact that he is a menopausal stoner and Obama Zombie.

Israels are concerned that Obama's telepromting ventriloquism will cause an increase in Jack Boots.

If you are a Scorpio your Sun is in Leo and your house in in the Northern Hemisphere. You will feel as if you are on a Sacred Mountain with edible books and the Partridge Family's ' I Think I Love You' will resonate in your head. This should make Blonde Sense to you.

Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 3.30.10

Missi has found her way to a coffee cafe on Wilshire in West LA. It's a bright place that make her want to dance on her toes, but not that bright to make her spin on them. She goes to a table and gets comfortable and opens her laptop when she is approached for an order. " I'll have the Kopi Luwak". " No one by Kopi works here." was the reply. " Then I'll have an espresso".

KOFFEE KHAT 3.30.10

Facebook will take on the official euphemistic status for the act of face sucking or parts of.

Joe Biden will find the word 'Hullabaloo' offensive.

Pelosi and Friends broke San Francisco's Bank of America, the state of California and now is after the United States of America and They are 'go girl' serious.

The 2000 plus pages of Healthcare reform is causing peoples memory banks to overload making them seek healthcare to relieve the overload. A regenerative design the more you read about healthcare the more healthcare you need and if you don't read about healthcare. Well ...... Doctor...Doctor.... who's is going to pay your bill.

If you are a Capricorn your moon is at Libra and Mercury will square with Mars, your Sun is sextile with Pluto, your are in retrograde with Saturn and Neptune has entered Pisces and money will become a mutually symbolic shared illusion.

Gorgeous George is a piece of perk

KOFFEE KHAT 3.18.10

Missi is on Reseda Blvd in Northridge in a coffeehouse store where she makes herself comfortable at a table and orders a 'Panama Robusta'. She gets the usual negative and settles for an espresso. She feels nervous this morning and hopes that she can calm down someway.

KOFFEE KHAT 3.18.10

Tiger looking for a new image will change his name to Pussy Cat.......What's new...

After Obama's stay as President he will seek funding to build a college where he will be the head basketball coach . The name of the team will be the 'Obama Baraqi's'.

Pelosi will try to clone herself to emphasize the no need for men and to achieve the quest that it be all herstory instead history.

The Jewish World Review main story line will revolve around Homer Simpson.

If you are an Aries you will have the same horoscope as your pet Cockatoo who is a Pisces. A image of Jesus will appear to you in a piece of burnt toast and you will take the position of a sofa sissy for a week.

Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 2.24.40

Missi is in Long Beach on Broadway in a quaint coffee house with comfortable chairs and small tables. She finds a spot and gets comfortable opens up her laptop and senses a calm. She asks for a 'French Chicory' and settles for an espresso.

KOFFEE KHAT 2.24.20

The economy is so bad that Hotwheels is trading higher than GM and Chrysler.

Sarah Palin will challenge Sen. Reid to a hockey game.

Elton John claims that Jesus was a gay man and will balance his truth that Hitler was also gay.

Tiger will be endorsed by an assortment of cleaning products and establish a National Day of Apology, although he still not sure he can give up his driver.

If you are a Gemini, your sign is ascending with your moon blocking the sun. You will have headphone sex with Acid Girls and Skull Juice and go looking for a room full of fireflies in Milwaukee. You'll find sexual compatibility with with a disharmonious Taurus.


Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 2.04.10

Missi has charted her way to Arcadia on Sierra Madre Blvd. It's a coffee house with a library area , a laptop area and seating counter. She makes her way to the laptop area and becomes comfortable when she recognizes a long time ago friend.
M. Chrissy
C. Missi
M. What are you doing here, I thought you were off to Texas ... the Houston area.
C. Yes......Well ....what are you doing here.....
M. I came for some "Ethiopian Longberry".
C. What.......
M. No, Really what are doing here. Are you still with Phil.
C. Yes...

At that point Missi knew something was wrong.

M. What's wrong
C. What do you mean
M. There is something seriously wrong here

Chrissy became silent and there was a time that they were very close and trusted friends.

C. Phil isn't working anymore
M. He lost his job during all this economic mess.
C. It goes deeper than that. You know that he is a Structural Engineer.
M. I remember.
C. He was working on a project with a Biological Engineer and their findings were not accepted kindly by their superiors. He comes home one day and he never talks about his work mostly because I don't understand most of what he talks about. He says, 'They are trying to break prime rational numbers to destabilize structural core elements'.
M. What.....
C. A week later all that bank craziness happen and we have lost 90% of our savings, Phil's partner is gone and he has no idea where he is and the company isn't giving any information for Phil to contact him. A week later they make him a deal that permanently retires him, also all monies would be controlled by their banks so if he breaks the deal, we would have deeper financial problems .
M. Do you know what he was working on.
C. He wouldn't tell me , but what information I got from some of my friends and acquaintances before the fall was that he was working on a procedure called 'Hydraulic Fracturing'.
M. Never heard of it.
C. It is a very quiet situation.
M. So what do both of you do.
C. I own this place. I bought it from my personal Trust that I had and Phil comes and reads over at the library....... we have new friends ..... We are overall very comfortable. Phil was in here one day when he recognized one of the companies' workers, who is a off and on customer. He feels that they are watching.
There is this documentary just made exposing the problems of this drilling procedure called "Gasland". So we are watching to see what happens to it.

KOFFEE KHAT 1.20.10

Missi is in Anaheim on Brookhurst. It's a laid back atmosphere, calm , serene and ....hard to get service... so she goes to the counter and asks if they had a 'Siberia Pacamara'. The waitress replied, ' Yes.... Vanilla Mint flavored.' 'Are you serious' replied Missi. ' No, I'm Siberia' was the reply.
'I'll have a Latte.'
'Vanilla Mint....'.

KOFFEE KHAT 1.20.10

Richard Trumpka will run for President of the United States and have Todd Palin as a running mate.

Harry Reid will no longer privately refer to Obama as the 'Magic Negro' but now as the 'Magic Dragon'. Puff on that....

Pat Robertson will admit the whereabouts of Tiger. That he has been on a special mission for him and he has concern that he's not sure where he is now since he was asked to go to Hades and Tiger misunderstood and went to Haiti.

Harry and Nancy are starting to feel part of M.C. Esher's work 'Relativity'.

If you are Scorpio your moon is ascending into Neptune causing an embolismic lunation.
You will have sleep sex with a Homer Simpson stuff toy and become fixated with the letter "D".

Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.

KOFFEE KHAT 1.08.10

Missi is at a coffee house in San Pedro on 6th . It's a clear day and sunny morning when she asks the waitress if she has a 'Honduras Organic'. The waitress recognized the organic and the Honduras but not together. Missi ordered a Latte.

KOFFEE KHAT 1.08.10

Palin is going to release a brand line called ' Moose Musk'.

Negotiation broke down between the Pier 39 Sea Lions and the San Francisco Chamber Of Commerce.

Terrorist New Year resolution is not to carry flammable explosive in their underwear because if successful there will be no willie to please all those virgins.

Obamacare will soon take it's medicine although it still not sure what the medicine is.

Pelosi will patent a speech technique of being able to show your teeth and speak at the same time.

If you are Taurus you will become fractured and shattered from a self indulgent subscription to Rosie O'Donnell. Go to a bar and order sugarcut pink milk and ask whatever happen to Bach.

Gorgeous George is a piece of perk.